Cold Fish

This Bookslut post raises the horrifying possibility that we will all have to pretend to lust for mermaids for the next two years or so, because werewolves and vampires are over and new Supernatural Creatures We Want to Fuck will appear on the literary scene.

I don’t believe it’s true. First of all, unlike werewolves and vampires, mermaids live in the depths of the sea, which is not a viable environment for human beings full stop, let alone human beings who want to take part in an oxygen-heavy activity like fucking. (The amazing Emily Carroll has done a comic, “The Prince and the Sea,” on the forever boundaries between man and mermaid.) Continue reading →

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I WILL SHOW THE ENTIRE INTERNET ABOUT JONATHAN FRANZEN

I read this article on Flavorwire on being pissed off by noted American author Jonathan Franzen and, what with having read an article on the Internet, immediately became engorged with rage as that is what 99% of the Internet is supposed to make you do. I was empurpled! I was like, No, motherfucker! Nobody tells me why Jonathan Franzen pisses me off! I can come to my reasoning by myself and share it with all the world. Which I am going to do, right here. Continue reading →